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Alternative Fox Hunting
If you gained pleasure from watching the hunt chase down a fox, you may wonder what happens now? What has happened to those poor unfortunate souls, whose "sport" was taken away from them? All they wanted to do was ride their steeds in the pursuit of vermin.
Well the truth is now out! They have all taken up Alternative Fox Hunting. It's the new craze for the landed gentry sweeping the whole of the nation. So, what is it? You'll be pleased to learn it's no longer an exclusive sport for the wealthy. Infact, you don't even need the ability to ride a horse.
How do you equip yourself? That can be done for a fraction of the cost. Firstly, you need a good sturdy black cycle helmet, such as those supplied by Halfords - safety first! Secondly, you need a red coat, not too thick, as Alternative Fox Hunting can be quite a strenuous activity. You should be able to find one to suit your needs at any good online clothes shop. Thirdly, you will need some white bottoms. Suggestions include leggings, white jeans or cricket flannels. The final item to consider is footwear. You can use boots if you wish, but it may be worth considering trainers, black being the prefered colour.
Now that your outfit is complete, you can select your steed. These are available from all good Toy Shops that stock wooden hobby horses. You'd be amazed at the range of colours available, however if you are a taller rider you may need a bespoke steed.
You may find that more established huntsmen will wear the more traditional garb, but that is down to personal choice. You will not be excluded, providing the colours of your attire match the above.
The next thing to do once you have obtained your informal hunting pink is to contact your local Master Of The Hunt. In a token break from tradition, this is done via email in line with the new millenium. You may be required to attend an inspection in your full regalia, to see if you have followed the correct dress code. Several rounds of the hall may also be required, so that your horsemanship can also be assessed.
If you have been accepted, then you must then await your first invitation. Due to the lower costs of running Alternative Fox Hunts, these events normally take place once a month.
What can you expect if you're invited? The event is likely to take place in one of the largest houses in your area, preferably with a large ballroom. Don't take the car, as you can expect to be quoffing lots of alcoholic beverages, such as Port and Sherry. However, for winter hunts it is quite normal to be offered Whiskey or brandy. Once the copious drinking has finished, you will be shown to the ballroom. At this time you will have noticed something unusual about the hall. Hanging from the ceiling at varying heights are Pinatas in the shape of foxes.
When everyone has assembled you will be asked to mount your steed. Once all are ready, the blindfolds are handed out and each huntsman is given a wooden stick. When everyone is blindfolded, the hounds are released and the hunt begins!
All riders are expected to ride in a clockwise rotation of the ballroom - although this is quite difficult! The hunt continues until all of the Pinata foxes have been despatched and their contents have been devoured by the hounds.
Could this be the sport for you?
DISCLAIMER: All of the information described above is entirely fictional - as far as we know! However, that isn't to say you can't give it a go!!